Hi friends! Today I want to talk to you about a topic that has a HUGE impact on your life–and has had quite a large impact on my own life, self love.
Having self-esteem, self love, confidence–whatever you want to call it, may be the most important thing you can do for your health (besides eating, sleeping, and breathing, of course)
Not loving yourself can lead you into many, many issues (both physically and mentally)–and if you are like me, you may not even realize your problems are connected to how you feel about yourself.
Fear not my beautiful friend, after reading this article, you will be armed and ready to take on your own mind and finally live the life you deserve!
Getting Better Doesn’t Happen Overnight
Can you say that with me? Getting better doesn’t happen overnight. As much as I would like you to wake up and look in the mirror and say, “Hey! I am freaking awesome and I am going to be okay with me for the rest of my life!”, it just doesn’t happen like that girlfriend.
I have been struggling with accepting the girl I am for quite a number of years, and yes, it gets better–but I still have my bad days. We all do. You will too. The most important thing is you have to keep pushing.
Remind yourself about this: who in the world benefits from hating themselves? Is it your family? Um…nope, pretty sure they love you the way you are. It is your friends? Nah, they don’t want to hear you talk down about your “big nose” when they see nothing is wrong with it. What about those strangers? I don’t even think they have time to look up from their smartphone to see all of your so-called “faults”. Hm…then it HAS to benefit YOU then, right? Wrong. It just makes your vision of yourself more and more negative each time you do it.
Ugh. Seems like this whole self-hate thing isn’t helping any of us, huh? Right! So why don’t we focus on self love, shall we?
Both Self Hate and Self Love Are Learned Behaviors
I think my inner psychologist may be coming out in this next point, but it’s true: negative self talk and positive self talk are learned behaviors. Whatever you choose to put effort into day in and day out (and yes, self hate requires as much effort as self love) is what you will begin to feel most comfortable with. We always tend to go to what is most comfortable for us, right? That’s why it almost seems easier to resort back to our negative behavior after trying to better ourselves.
Which leads me into my next point: This self love thing is going to be kind of awkward at first. But hey, you gotta start somewhere, gorgeous. When you are having a horrible day and all is going wrong and you just automatically blame yourself for everything that happened that day, stop. Just stop.
Take a deep breath and relax.
Think about all of the good things about yourself: So…I have a pretty cute laugh. I LOVE how soft my hair is. Oh, and you know I have the booty of Queen B when I am rockin’ a cute pair of Lululemon pants. <<< WOW. Can those sentences get anymore #basic? Besides the fact, I bet you can think of 100+ more things that make you unique & beautiful.
Related: How Self Love Can Change Your Life
Finding Your Tribe
I think one of the most common reasons we get so down on ourselves is because we think we don’t meet other people’s expectations.
What does that even mean?
Do you sit down and evaluate how well your best friend met your standards this month? I sure as hell don’t, and most other people don’t either. So stop thinking you aren’t good enough for others–because you are being the best you, and that is all that matters.
As cliche as it sounds, if you just be you, your tribe will find you. People you thought you were close to may leave, but if they can’t accept the real you, were they meant to stay in your life anyways? Probably not.
You Are Enough
Did you know that you are enough? I promise you are. What you have to bring to the table of life is enough for this world. Don’t try to be what the world thinks you should be. Don’t make yourself exhausted to try and please people who could probably care less.
Now when I say you are enough, I am not saying you don’t make mistakes. You should acknowledge the fact that you mess up sometimes, and you should continually feed yourself knowledge and experience to become the best you that you can be day in and day out.
However, don’t be fooled by those who are not transparent. Just as there are negative people, there are overly positive ones–and by that I mean unrealistic. They make it appear as if they are happy all the time and ALWAYS reading another book or completing perfect workouts. I like to call this looking at someone’s “highlight reel” or only seeing the good things that they choose to carefully document in their life. This happens so often on social media!
It’s. Not. Realistic. I don’t care who you are. Fit people like to eat donuts sometimes. Positive people need to cry sometimes. Go-getters need a break sometimes. Just don’t be fooled or misled.
- Although you won’t get better overnight, with consistency you will get there.
- Self hate and self love are learned behaviors–make sure you get comfortable with self love.
- Be the silly, weird, interesting you–and your tribe will find you, promise.
- You are enough. No matter what others think.
- Don’t compare your real life to someone’s highlight reel.
Share something you love about yourself down below, and why. Spread the self love! Also be sure to comment and share if you enjoyed this post–and if you want more like it!