I am a people pleaser. I think a lot of us are. I tend to really take into account other people’s opinions when making decisions especially if they are close family and friends. I don’t necessarily think this is a bad thing. In my eyes, it shows that you are humbling yourself below others, not thinking that you know everything. I think that it is good to take other’s opinions into consideration to some extent, but overall, you have to do what is best for you. You know what is best for you.
I believe that worrying about what other’s think is truly the root of us lacking happiness and joy in life. Not looking inwards to doing what makes us feel happy.
I always say to think like a child. Whatever activity or thing in life that makes your heart soar–do more of that. Whether that be painting, writing, playing video games, fitness, traveling–WHATEVER. It doesn’t matter how silly it sounds or if it doesn’t fit the stereotypical “cookie cutter” life. My mother even told me that. She knows I am different from my older brother and sister. I simply want to live life in such a way that brings me joy and peace and laughter. It isn’t getting a 9 to 5 job, settling down with my husband and having kids and a dog. Work until I retire then finally relaxing. For some people this may be okay–but more and more I am beginning to think that very few people actually LIKE this kind of life. They are just too afraid to speak up.
Our world is becoming more and more diverse as time goes on. It poses some problems, sure, because realistically we all can’t just do whatever the heck we want cause it would be pretty chaotic. However, I think we all need to be open to the small things, things that ultimately when it comes down to it–don’t make a negative impact on your life, but allow you to be YOU. Being gay, transgender, wanting tattoos or piercings, crazy hair colors. All of these things are “different” form the status quo and it confuses people. If it’s different it must be bad. Even something as simple as not wanting to have kids or having a simple wedding can cause a huge uproar between the ones you love. It’s hard.
It’s hard going against what others believe is best for you. I mean they have the best intentions, but even those with the best intentions still don’t 100% know what is best for you. Life is too short to live in someone else’s ideal. They haven’t gone through what YOU have gone through. Experienced every single thing you have. Even when nobody was around. When you are by yourself. The thoughts you have and the things you do. Your dreams. Your nightmares. Your visions. Your feelings. Nobody experiences those things. You have a reason for doing things the way you do. Don’t let anyone get in the way of that.
Do what makes you happy. Pay close attention to the things that bring you joy and do more of those things. If they don’t bring you joy and you can control it, get rid of those things. Things you can’t change–learn to be grateful for those things. Look for the good in it, and be appreciative. Your perspective will change. Everything will soon be good. Everything you do will make you happy. You will wake up with a purpose and look forward to doing those little things that make you happy. Getting to draw at the end of the night. Getting to try out your new bath bomb. Getting to backpack Europe in a couple of months. Going to get that new tattoo. Curling up with that awesome book you can’t wait to finish. Binge watching The Office for the tenth time. Nobody will understand it, except you.
If you have the choice to do anything at all in your life, make sure you are doing something that makes you happy. Don’t stop until you are living a life that makes you happy.